關於 things every 20 year-old should know how to do ，我們在網路上蒐集到這些相關的討論、資訊與評價

【現代の若手社員が背負っているリスク】

本題に入る前に、近況報告を２つほどさせてください。

一つ目は、昨日もテレビ朝日さんの番組に出させていただいたのですが、ここから映画『えんとつ町のプペル』の公開までの間、キンコン西野にしては結構テレビに出ます。

https://youtu.be/1g6Ca_UjOrs

　
べつに芸能界を引退したではないのですが、「作品を作って届ける」というのは、時間を要する作業でして……なかなか、出役として表に出れないんですね。

「出役としての才能もそんなに無い」という理由もありますが(涙)

　
なので、基本的に僕のスケジュールは、アトリエに籠るか、公園を散歩しながら一人でブツブツ言ってるヤバいオッサンをやるか……で、おそらく御近所さんからは、「あいつは仕事があるのか？」という心配をされています。

一応、働いていると思うんですけど、表に出てないと、そうなっちゃうんです。



ただ、今回は、結構いろんな番組に出させていただくので、御近所さんも安心させられるんじゃないかと思っております。
また、オンエア情報が出次第、逐一、ご報告させていただきます。


次に、二つ目の近況報告です。

僕はイイ人と思われたくて、支援活動めいたものを結構積極的にやっているのですが、そんなことをしていたら「僕も、私も、協力したい」という神様のような方が出てきてくださって、その結果、「えんとつ町のプペル『こどもギフト』」というプロジェクトが立ち上がったんです。

【こどもギフト】
https://salon.jp/child_gift

　
これは、「世界中の子供達に絵本を毎月１冊の絵本を贈る」という「支援のサブスク」で、ご自身のお小遣いの中から、会社の売り上げの中から、毎月２０００円を支援してくださる方が、今現在、８４６名もいます。

つまり毎月８４６冊の絵本が子供達に届くわけですね。毎月です。

これが成立しているのって本当に凄いことで、どこかでキチンと取り上げた方がいいテーマだなぁと思っております。



そんなこんなで先日は沖縄の「兼原小学校」と「赤道小学校」の１年生〜３年生まで全員に絵本をプレゼントしてまいりました。

その時の模様は「えんとつ町のプペル『こどもギフト』」の支援者グループの方に活動報告として出させていただいております。

『こどもギフト』は需要があるかぎり、生涯続けていこうかなぁと思っている活動ですので、興味がある方は是非、のぞいてみてください。





さて、そんなこんなで今日の本題です。



労働基準法の改正ってチョコチョコおこなわれていて、今年の４月にも改正されて、たしか時間外労働の上限が「月に４５時間・年間３６０時間」とかなんです。
それを超えると罰則があるんです。

　
ちなみに、一般的な労働時間は１日８時間。
これを僕におきかえた時に、僕、大体、一日１８時間〜２０時間ぐらい働いているんですね。
仮に１８時間だとしたら、労働基準に照らし合わせると、僕の１日の時間外労働が１０時間。

月に３００時間。
年間にすると３６００時間です。

でも、労働基準法の上限は、月に４５時間。年間３６０時間じゃないですか？

ちゃんと働いている人は、時間外労働でいうと、僕の１/１０の時間しか働いていないわけです。
もちろん「働いている時間が長ければ、いい結果になる」という話じゃありませんが、よっぽど時間の使い方が上手い人じゃないかぎり、仕事の結果というのは労働時間に概ね比例すると思います。

「いやいや、仕事の時間を削って、家族との時間を作りたいんだ」というのであれば話は別です。
それは幸せの一つの形ですし、他人がどうこう言えるものじゃありません。

そうじゃなくて、シンプルに「成り上がりたい」と思っている人に対して、労働基準法というのは、なかなか厄介なハードルだなぁと思っております。



それともう一つ。



昨日、ウチの田村Pが、オンラインサロン内で、ウチの若手スタッフに対して、一言で言うと「お前ら、ナメなよ」という記事を投稿したんですね。

【西野亮廣エンタメ研究所】
https://salon.jp/nishino

ちょっと説明がややこしいんですけど……今、「全国の子供達に映画『えんとつ町のプペル』をプレゼントしたい！」というクラウドファンディングを実施していて、クラウドファンディング上で、「映画『えんとつ町のプペル』をプレゼントして欲しい」という子供施設と、「映画『えんとつ町のプペル』をプレゼントしたい」という大人をマッチングしているんです。

ちなみに、もし、期間中にマッチングしなければ、僕が自腹で子供施設にプレゼントさせていただくので、手を挙げてくださった子供施設には１００%、映画『えんとつ町のプペル』の前売り券がプレゼントされます。

で、例えば、愛知県の○○幼稚園から手が挙がれば、すぐに「○○幼稚園に支援できる権」というものを、クラウドファンディングのリターンで出して、かつ、「新しいリターンが出ましたよ」ということをご報告する為に、僕がそのリターンをスクショして、画像を整えて、支援先のリンクを貼って、サロン内にある各県人会に投げていたんです。

愛知の幼稚園から手が挙がれば、「愛知県人会」の投稿に、「○○幼稚園から手が挙がりました〜」というご報告を。
やっぱり、「地元を応援したい」という気持ちがあると思うので。


で、僕は、映画やら何やらを作っている合間を見つけて、その作業をずっとやっていたのですが……その作業を僕がやっていることはウチの若手スタッフは全員知っているんですね。

それに対して、田村Pから雷が落ちまして……まぁ、要するに「なんで、西野亮廣に事務作業をやらせとんねん」です。
　
「西野亮廣が今、どれだけ大変な思いをして映画を作っているかお前ら知ってるやろ。制作に集中させてあげるべきやし、休ませてあげろや。お前らは事務作業をしている西野亮廣をなんで見て見ぬフリをしとんねんっ！」という大雷が落ちました（笑）


ウチの会社は「社内で起きていることは全部ネタにする」をモットーに、業務連絡ですらサロンの記事でおこなっていたりするのですが、今回は雷が落ちました。

田村Pは株式会社NISHINOの社員じゃないので、「外野の意見」として、それが言えたわけですね。

【田村サロン】
https://salon.jp/tamura

こういうのって、今「パワハラ」みたいに扱われてしまうので、なかなか言えないじゃないですか。

ただ、若手の未来を思うと、「とびっきりの愛を持って叱る」というのは絶対に大事で、僕も先輩に山ほどしごかれたクチなんですけど、今は感謝しかないんですね。
あそこで、しごかれないまま４０才になっていたことを思うと、ちょっとゾッとします。

ウチの若手はタフなので、「田村Pに怒られたことをネタにして喋る会」というイベントを開催するらしいのです（最高！）

そろそろ話をまとめますね。

　
今、２０代の方は労働基準法の改正や、「パワハラ」と言える権利を持ったことで、かなり守られている反面（これはとても素晴らしいことだと思います！！）、「労働時間による下克上を起こしにくくなっている」ということと、「しごかれなくなっている」という大きすぎるリスクを背負っていることは、把握しておいた方がいいと思います。


これらは安全とトレードオフの関係なので、そこは上手にやりくりしてみてください。
超絶応援しています。



　
▼西野亮廣の最新のエンタメビジネスに関する記事(1記事=2000~3000文字)が毎朝読めるのはオンラインサロン(ほぼメルマガ)はコチラ↓
https://salon.jp/nishino

▼Instagram版はコチラ↓
https://nishino73.thebase.in/items/25497065

━━━
２０２０年１２月２５日公開！
映画『えんとつ町のプペル』

▼オンラインムビチケ（特典付き）の購入はこちら↓
https://mvtk.jp/Film/070395
[the risk of modern young employees carrying]

Before you enter the chase, let me have about 2 status reports.

The first one was also on tv asahi's program yesterday, but from here to the release of the movie ′′ a town ′′ I'm going to go to the tv for xin nishino.

https://youtu.be/1g6Ca_UjOrs

　
I haven't retired from showbiz, but it's a work that takes time to make a piece and deliver...... it's quite a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of

There is also a reason why ′′ there is no talent as a role ′′ (tears)

　
So, basically, my schedule is going to go to the atelier, or I'm going to do a crazy old man who is mumbling alone while walking around the park...... and probably from the neighbor," he's a job I'm worried that there is?"

I think I'm working in case, but if you don't get on the table, it's going to be.



It's just that this time, I'm going to be on a lot of shows, so I'm thinking that the neighbors will be able to feel relieved too.
Also, as soon as the air information comes out, we will report it.


Next is the second status report.

I want to be a good person, and I'm doing a lot of support activities, but if I'm doing that, I'm going to have a good time with God, ′′ I want to cooperate too ′′ Please come, the result," the project called ′′ Children's gift ′′ in a town has stood up.

[Children's gift]
https://salon.jp/child_gift

　
This is the ′′ Sub-Sook of support ′′ called ′′ giving a picture book to children around the world," from your own pocket money, from the sales of the company, every month 2000 There are now 846 people who support the yen.

In other words, 846 picture books each month will reach the children. It's every month.

It's really amazing that this is being completed, and I think it's better to be featured somewhere.



This is how the other day, I present a picture book to all of you from the 1th grade to the 3th grade of the ′′ and elementary school ′′ in Okinawa.

The pattern of the time is to be issued as an activity report to the supporters group of ′′ Children's gift ′′ in a town.

′′ Children's gift ′′ is an activity that you think you should continue for life as long as there is a demand, so if you are interested, please try it.





Well, that's how today's chase.



The revision of the labor standards law has been held in chocolate chocolate, and it has been revised this April, and the limit of the outside labor is ′′ 360 hours a month ′′
Beyond it, there is penalties.

　
By the way, general working hours are 8 hours a day.
When I get this to me, I'm mostly working about 18 HOURS TO 20 hours a day.
If it'S 18 hours, in light of the labor standards, my 1th time outside labor is 10 hours.

300 hours a month.
It's 3600 hours in a year.

But the limit of the labor standards law is 45 hours a month. Isn't it 360 hours a year?

People who work properly are only working for my 1/10 hours in time outside labor.
Of course, it's not a story that ′′ if you have time to work, it will be a good result but as long as it's not a person who is good at using time, I think that the result of the work is generally proportional to the labor time.

′′ No no, I want to sharpening my work time and make time with my family if you say, it's different from the story.
It's one form of happiness, and it's not what others can say.

It's not so much, I think that the labor standards law is quite a messy hurdle for people who think it's simple to ′′ want to upstart ′′



Or another one.



Yesterday, our tamura p posted an article called ′′ you guys don't disrespecting ′′ in the online salon.

[Ryo Nishino Institute of entertainment]
https://salon.jp/nishino

It's a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of So, I'm matching an adult called ′′ I want you to present the movie ′′ a in the town ′′ and ′′ I want to present the movie ′′ a in the town,"

By the way, if you don't match during the period, I'll give you a present to the children's facility with a streamline, so I'm going to have a 100-Year-old child facility that raised my hand %, movie ′′ a town ′′ Advance tickets will be present.

So, for example, if you get your hands from the ○○ Kindergarten in Aichi Prefecture, you will soon be able to put out the ′′ right to support kindergarten ′′ on the return of crowdfunding, and," new return Is out to report that I sook the return, made the image, put on the link of the support, and throw it to each prefecture meeting in the salon.

If you have a hand from aichi's kindergarten, you will be able to post the ′′ Aichi Prefecture Association ′′," ○○ I got a hand from kindergarten ~"
I think I have a feeling that I want to support my hometown.


So, I found the middle of making movies and things, and I've been doing the work for a long time...... I know all my young staff who are doing the work.

On the other hand, the thunder fell from tamura p...... well, in short, ′′ why don't you let ryo nishino do clerical work......
　
′′ I know how hard ryo nishino is making a movie right now. Let me focus on the production, let me rest. Why don't you guys pretend not to look at ryo nishino, who is working on clerical work!" the big thunder has fallen (lol)


My company is the motto of ′′ everything happening in the company is a story even in business contact, it's a salon article, but this time the thunder has fallen.

Tamura p is not an employee of Nishino Co Ltd. So it was said as a ′′ outfield opinion,"

[Tamura Salon]
https://salon.jp/tamura

This kind of thing is now treated like ′′ power harassment so you can't quite say it.

It's just that when I think of the future of young people, it's absolutely important to say ′′ I'm going to spell with a kickin ' love," and I'm also a lot of people who have been able to do a lot of things to do with my senior, but now I'm I'm sorry.
It's a bit grossed out when I think that I was 40 years old without being there.

My young man is tough, so I'm going to hold an event called ′′ a meeting to talk about being angry by tamura p," (the best! ()

I'm about to put together a story.

　
Now, the 20 s are pretty protected by the revision of the labor standards law and the right to say ′′ power harassment ′′ (I think this is such a great thing!!)," I think it's better to figure out that it's hard to wake up the gekokujo by labor time, and it's too big to be a risk of ′′ being a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit of a bit


These are safety and trade-off relationships, so try to make it well there.
I'm really rooting for you.



　
▼ an article about the latest entertainment business of ryo nishino (1 articles = 2000 to 3000 characters) can be read every morning online salon (almost mail magazine) is here ↓
https://salon.jp/nishino

▼ Instagram version is here ↓
https://nishino73.thebase.in/items/25497065

━━━
Released on December 25, 2020!
The movie in a town ′′

▼ Buy Online Bangabandhu (with perks) here ↓
https://mvtk.jp/Film/070395Translated

My sister, Michelle-Ann Iking's 3% chance of conceiving naturally was a success! Here's her story:

(My apologies as I've been overwhelmed with personal matters. I've only managed to get to my desk. So finally got around posting this).

This is the story behind my sister's pregnancy struggle and how she shared her journey over her Facebook page.

Because some may have not caught her LIVE session chat with me (https://www.facebook.com/daphneiking/videos/687743128744960/) , or read her lengthy post (as it's a private page);
she's allowed me to copy and paste it over my wall, in case you need to know more about her thought process on how AND why she focused on the 3% success probability. Read on.

-------------------------------------------

Posted 10th May 2020.
FB Credit: Michelle-Ann Iking

A week ago today I celebrated becoming a mother to our second, long awaited child.

Please forgive this mother's LONG (self-indulgent) post, journalling what this significant milestone has meant for her personally, for her own fallible memory's sake as well as maybe to share one day with her son.

If all you were wondering was whether I had delivered and if mum and bub are OK, please be assured the whole KkLM family are thriving tremendously, and continue scrolling right along your Newsfeed 😁.

OUR 3% MIRACLE

All babies are miracles... and none more so than our precious Kiaen Aaryan (pronounced KEY-n AR-yen), whose name derives from Sanskrit origins meaning:

Grace of God
Spiritual
Kind
Benevolent

...words espousing the gratitude Kishore and I feel for Kiaen's arrival as our "3% miracle".

He was conceived, naturally, after 3 years of Kishore and I hoping, praying and 'endeavoring'... and only couples for whom the objective switches from pure recreation to (elusive) procreation will understand how this is less fun than it sounds ...

3 years during which time we had consensus from 3 different doctors that we, particularly I (with my advancing age etc etc) had only a 3% chance of natural conception and that our best hope for a sibling for our firstborn, Lara Anoushka, was via IVF.

Lara herself was an 'intervention baby', being one of the 20% of babies successfully conceived through the less intrusive IUI process, after a year and a half of trying naturally and already being told then my age was a debilitating factor.

We had tried another round of IUI for her sibling in 2017 when Lara was a year old. And that time we fell into the ranks of the 80% of would-be parents for whom it would be an exercise in futility... who would go home, comfort each other as best they could, while individually masking their own personal disappointment... hoping for the best, 'the next time around'...

So the improbability ratio of 97% against natural conception of our second baby, as concurred by the combined opinion of 3 medical professionals, was a very real, very daunting figure for us to have to mentally deal with.

Deep, DEEP, down in my heart however, though I had many a day of doubt... I kept a core kernel of faith that somehow, I would again experience the privilege of pregnancy, and again, have a chance at childbirth.

And so, the optimist in me would tell myself, "Well, there have to be people who fall in the 3% bucket... why shouldn't WE be part of the 3%?"

Those who know me well, understand my belief in the Law of Attraction, the philosophy of focusing your mind only on what you want to attract, not on what you don't want, and so even as Kishore and I prepared to go into significant personal debt to attempt IVF in the 2nd half of 2019, I marshalled a last ditch effort to hone in on that 3% chance of natural conception... through research coming across fertility supplements that I ordered from the US and sent to a friend in Singapore to redirect to me because the supplier would not deliver to Malaysia.

I made us as a couple take the supplements in the 3 month 'priming period' in the lead up to the IVF procedure - preconditioning our bodies for optimum results, if you will.

At the same time, I had invested in a sophisticated fertility monitor, with probes and digital sensors for daily tracking of saliva and other unmentionable fluid samples, designed to pinpoint with chemical accuracy my state of fertility on any given day.

(UPDATE: For those interested - I obtained the supplements and Ovacue Fertility Monitor from https://www.fairhavenhealth.com/. Though I had my supplies delivered to a friend in Singapore, and redirected to me here since the US site does not deliver to Malaysia, there are local distributors for these products, you will just have to research the trustworthiness of the vendors yourself...)

I had set an intention - in the 3 months of pre-IVF priming, I would consume what seemed like a pharmacy's worth of supplements, and track fertility religiously... in hopes that somehow, within the 3 month priming period, we would conceive naturally and potentially save ourselves a down payment on a new property... and this was just a projection on financial costs of IVF, not even considering the physical, emotional and mental toll it involves, with no guarantee of a baby at the end of it all...

It was a continuation of an intention embedded even with my first pregnancy, where all the big ticket baby items were consciously purchased for use by a future sibling, in gender neutral colours, in hopes that sibling would be a brother "for a balanced pair", though of course any healthy child would be a welcome blessing.

It was a very conscious determination to always skew my thoughts in service of what the end objective was. For example, when 3+year old Lara would innocently express impatience at not yet having a sibling, at one point suggesting that since we were "taking too long to give her a baby brother/sister", perhaps we should just "go buy a baby from a shop", instead of getting defensive or berating the baby that she herself was, we enlisted Lara's help to pray for her sibling... so in any place of worship, or sacred ground of any kind that we passed thereon, Lara would stop, close her eyes, bow her small head and place her tiny hands together in prayer, reciting earnestly, "Please God, please give me a baby brother or baby sister."

After months and months of watching Lara do this, in the constancy of her childlike chant, Kishore started feeling the pressure of possibly disappointing Lara if her prayer was not answered. Whereas for me, Lara's recitation of her simple wish became like a strengthening mantra, our collective intention imbued with greater power with each repetition, and the goal of a sibling kept very much in the forefront of our minds (hence our calling Lara our 'project manager' in this endeavour).

And somehow in the 2nd month of that 3 month period, a positive + sign appeared on one of the home pregnancy tests I had grown accustomed to taking - my version of the lottery tickets others keep buying in hopes of hitting the jackpot, with all the cyclical anticipation and more often than not, disappointment, that entails...

This time however I was not disappointed.

With God's Grace, (hence 'Kiaen', a variation of 'Kiaan' which means 'Grace of God'), my focus on our joining the ranks of the 3% had materialised.

It seems poetic then, that Kiaen chose to make his appearance on the 3rd May, ironically the same date that his paternal great-grandfather departed this world for the next... such that in the combined words of Kishore and his father Kai Vello Suppiah,

"The 1st generation Suppiah left on 3rd May and the 4th generation Suppiah arrived on 3rd May after 41yrs...
One leaves, another comes, the legacy lives on..."

***

KIAEN AARYAN SUPPIAH'S BIRTH STORY

On Sunday 3rd May, I was 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant.

The baby was, in my mind, very UN-fashionably late past his due date of 29th April, so as much as I had willed and 'manifested' the privilege of pregnancy, to say I was keen to be done with it all was an understatement.

In the weeks leading to up to my full term, I had experienced increasingly intense Braxton-Hicks 'practice contractions' - annoying for me for the discomfort involved, stressful for Kishore who was on tenterhooks with the false alarms, on constant alert for when we would actually need to leave home for the hospital.

Having become a Hypnobirthing student and advocate from my first pregnancy with Lara, and thus being equipped with
(1) a lack of fear about childbirth in general and
(2) a basic understanding of how all the sensations I would experience fit into the big picture of my body bringing our baby closer to us,
I was less stressed - content to wait for the baby to be "fully cooked" and come out whenever he was ready... though I wouldn't have minded at all if the cooking time ended sooner, rather than later.

With Lara, I had been somewhat 'forced' into an induced labour, even though she was not yet due, and that had resulted in a 5 DAY LABOUR, a Birth Story for another post, so I was not inclined to chemically induce labour, even though I was assured that for second time mothers, it would be 'much faster and easier'...

That morning, I had a hunch *maybe* that day was the day, because in contrast to previous weeks' sensations of tightening, pressure and even spasms that were concentrated in the front of my abdomen and occasionally shot through my sides and legs, I felt period - like cramping in my lower back which I had not felt before throughout the pregnancy.

It was about 8am in the morning then, and my 'surges' were still relatively mild ('surges' being Hypnobirthing - speak for 'contractions', designed to frame them with the more positive connotations needed to counteract common language in which childbirth is presented as something that is unequivocally painful and traumatic, instead of the miraculous, powerful and natural phenomenon it actually is).

I recall (masochistically?) entertaining the thought of opting NOT to have an epidural JUST TO SEE WHAT IT WOULD BE LIKE...

I figured this would be the last time I would be pregnant and so it would be my 'last chance' to experience 'drug free labour' which, apart from the health benefits for baby and mother, might be *interesting* in a way that people who are curious about what getting a tattoo and skydiving and bungee jumping are like, might find these *interesting*...even knowing there will be pain and risk involved...

Since I have tried tattoos and skydiving (unfortunately not being able to squeeze in bungee-jumping while my life was purely my own to risk at no dependents' possible detriment) a similar curiousity about a no-epidural labour was on my mind...

In the absence of other signs of the onset of labour (like 'bloody show' or my waters breaking), I wanted to wait until the surges were coming every few minutes before we actually left the house for the hospital, not wanting to be one of those couples who rushed in too early and had interminable waits for the next stage in unfamiliar, clinical surroundings and/or were made to go home in an anti-climatic manner.

I was even calm enough through my surges to have the presence of mind to wash and blowdry my hair, knowing if I did deliver soon I would not be allowed this luxury for a while.

Around 9am I asked Kishore to prep for Lara and himself to be dressed and breakfasted so we could head to hospital soon, while I sent messages to family members on both sides informing them 'today might be the day.'

My mother, who had briefly served as a midwife before going back into general nursing and then becoming a nursing tutor, prophetically stated that if what I was experiencing was true labour, "the baby would be out by noon".

The pace in which my surges grew closer together was surprisingly quicker than I expected; and while I asked Lara to "Hurry up with breakfast" with only a tad more urgency than we normally tell her to do, little Missy being prone to dilly-dallying at meals, I probably freaked Kishore out when about 930am onwards, I had to instinctively get on my hands and knees a couple of times, eyes closed, trying to practice the Hypnobirthing breathing techniques I had revised to help along the process of my body birthing our child into the world.

I recall him saying a bit frantically as I knelt at our front door, doubled over as he waited for Lara to complete something or other, "Lara hurry up! Can't you see Mama is in so much pain and you are taking your own sweet time??!!"

SIDETRACK: Just the night before, Lara and I had watched a TV show in which a woman gave birth with the usual histrionics accompanying pop culture depictions of labour.

Lara watched the scene, transfixed.

I told her, simply and matter-of-factly, "That's what Mama has to do to get baby brother out Lara, and that's what I had to do for you also."

In most of interactions with my daughter, I have sought to equip her to face life's situations with calmness, truthful common sense, and ideally a minimum of drama.

Those who know the dramatic diva that Lara can be will know that this is a work-in-progress, but her response to me that night showed me some of my 'teachings' were sinking in:

She looked at me unfazed, "But Mama," she said. "You won't cry and scream like that lady, right? You will be BRAVE and stay calm, right?"
#nopressure.

So as we prepped to leave for the hospital I did indeed attempt to be that role model of calm for her, asking her only for her help in keeping very quiet,
"Because Mama needs to focus on bringing baby brother out and she needs quiet to concentrate...".

As we left the house at 10.11am, I texted Kishore's sister Geetha to please prep to pick up Lara from the hospital, and was grateful Kishore had the foresight to ask our gynae to prepare a letter for Geetha to show any police roadblocks between my in-laws' home in Subang Jaya and the hospital in Bangsar, this all happening under the Movement Control Order (MCO).

To Lara's credit, in the journey over to the hospital, she - probably sensing the gravity of the situation, sat very quietly in her seat at the back, and the silence was punctuated only by my occasional deep intakes of breath and some variation of my Ohmmm-like moans when the sensations were at their height.

By the time we got to Pantai Hospital at around 10.30am, my surges were strong enough I requested a wheelchair to assist me in getting to the labour ward, as I did not trust my own legs to support me... and Kishore would have to wait until Geetha had arrived to take Lara back to my in-laws' house before he himself could go up.

I slumped in the wheelchair and was wheeled up to the labour room with my eyes closed the whole time, trying to handle my surges.

I didn't even look up to see the attendant who pushed me... but did make the effort to thank him sincerely when he handed me over, with what seemed like a palpable sense of relief on his part, to the labour ward nurses.

The nurse attending me at Pantai was calm, steady and efficient. I answered some questions and changed into my labour gown while waiting for Kishore to come up, all the while managing the increasingly intense surges with my rusty Hypnobirthing breathing techniques.

By the time Kishore joined me at around 11am (I know these timings based on the timestamps of the 'WhatsApp live feed' of messages Kishore sent to his family), I was asking the nurse on duty, "How soon can I get an epidural??" thinking what crazy woman thought she could do this without drugs???!!!

The nurse checked my cervix dilation, I saw her bloodied glove indicating my mucous plug had dislodged, and she told me, "Well you are already at 7cm (which, for the uninitiated, is 70% of the way to the 10cm dilation needed for birthing), you are really doing well, if you made it this far without any drugs, if can you try and manage without it... I suspect within 2 hours or less you will deliver your baby and since it will take about that time for the anaesthesiologist to be called, epidural to be administered and kick in... it might all be for nothing... but of course the decision is completely up to you... "

So there I was, super torn, should I risk the sensations becoming worse... or risk the epidural becoming a waste?? And of course I was trying to decide this as my labour surges were coming at me stronger and stronger...

I was in such a dilemma...because as a 'recovering approval junkie' there was also a silly element of approval-seeking involved, ("The nurse thinks I can do this without drugs... maybe I CAN do this without drugs... Yay me!") mixed with that element of curiosity I mentioned earlier ("What if I actually CAN do this without drugs... plenty of other women have done it all over the world since time immemorial.. no big deal, how bad can it be...??") so then I thought I would use the financial aspect to be the 'tiebreaker' in my decision making...

I asked the nurse how much an epidural would cost and when she replied "Around MYR1.5k", I still remember Kishore's incredulous face as I asked the question, i.e."Seriously babe, you are gonna think about money right now? If you need the epidural TAKE IT, don't worry about the money!!!"... and while we are not rich by any stretch of the imagination, thankfully RM1.5k is not a quantum that made me swing towards a decision to "better save the money"...

So in the end, I guess my curiosity won out, and I turned down the epidural "just to see what it would be like and if I had it in me" (in addition of course to avoiding the side effects of any drugs introduced into my and the baby's body).

My labour occuring in the time of coronavirus, it was protocol for me to have a COVID19 test done, so the medical staff could apply the necessary precautions. I had heard from a friend Sharon Ruba that the test procedure was uncomfortable, so when the nurse came with the test kit as I was starting another surge, I asked, "Please can I just finish this surge before I do the test?" as I really didn't think I could multitask tackling multiple uncomfortable sensations in one go.

The COVID19 test involved what felt like a looong, skinny cotton bud being inserted into one nostril... I definitely felt more than a tickle as it went in and up, being told to take deep breaths by the nurse. Then she asked me to "Try to swallow" and I felt it go into my nasal cavities where I didn't think anything could go any further, but was proven wrong when she asked me to swallow again and the swab was probed even deeper. Then she warned me there would be some slight discomfort as she prepared to collect a sample... but at that point all I could think about was:

(i) I really don't have much of a choice
(ii) please let this be over before my next surge kicks in
(iii) if all the people breaking the MCO rules knew what it feels like to do this test maybe they won't put themselves at risk of the need to perform one...

In full disclosure as I was transferred into the actual delivery room at some point after 11am, another nurse offered me 'laughing gas' to ostensibly take some of the edge off... I took the self-operated breathing nozzle passed to me but don't recall it making any difference to my sensations..so didn't use it much as it seemed pretty pointless.

I recall some measure of relief when I heard my gynae Dr. Paul entering the room, greeting Kishore and me, and telling us it was going well and it wouldn't be long now and he would see us again shortly.

From my previous labour with Lara I knew the midwives pretty much take you 90% of the way through the labour and when the Dr is called in you are really at the home stretch, so was very relieved to hear his voice though knowing he would leave and come back later meant it wasn't quite over yet.

I do remember realising when I had crossed the Thinning and Opening Phase of labour to the Birthing Phase, by the change in sensations... it is still amazing to me that as the Hypnobirthing book mentioned, having this knowledge I was instinctively able to switch breathing techniques for the next stage of labour .

Was my opting against epidural the right choice for me?

Overall? Yes.

Don't get me wrong.

I *almost* regretted the decision several times during active labour... especially when I felt my body being taken over by an overwhelming compulsion to push that did not seem conscious and was accompanied by involuntary gutteral moans where I literally just thought to myself, "I surrender, God do with me what you will..." (super dramatic I know but VERY real at the time...).

I think I experienced 3-4 such natural explusive reflexes (?), rhythmically pushing the baby down the birth path, one of which was accompanied by what felt like a swoosh of water coming out of a hose with a diameter the size of a golf ball... this was when I realised my water had finally broken...

The nurses kept instructing me to do different things, to keep breathing, to move to my side, then to move to the middle, to raise my feet... and when I didn't comply, Kishore (who was with me throughout both my labours) tried to help them by repeating the instructions prefaced with "Sayang..." but I basically ignored all the intructions because I felt I had no capacity to direct any part of my body to do anything and someone else would have to physically manoeuvre that body part themselves.

When I heard Dr. Paul's voice again and the flurry of commotion surrounding his presence, I knew the time was close... and when I heard the nurse say to Kishore, "Sir, these are your gloves, for when you cut the baby's cord", it was music to my ears...

I'm very, VERY grateful Kiaen slid out after maybe the 4th of those involuntary pushes... the wave of RELIEF when he came out so quickly... it still boggles my mind that my mother was essentially right and as his birth time was 12.02pm, it was *only* about 1.5 hours between our arrival at the hospital and his arrival into the world.

Kiaen was placed on my chest for skin to skin bonding and remained there for a considerable time.

For our short stay in the hospital he would be with us in my maternity ward number C327... another trivially serendipitous sign for me because he was born on the 3rd (May) and our wedding anniversary is 27th (July).

I was discharged the following day 4th May at about 5.30pm, after I got an all clear on COVID19 and a paediatric surgeon did a small procedure on Kiaen to address a tongue-tie that would affect his breastfeeding latch... making the entire duration of our stay about 31 hours.

I have taken the time and effort to record all this down so that whenever life's challenges threaten to get me down I can remind myself, "Ignore the 97% failure probability, focus on the 3% success probability".

Also that the human condition is miraculous and it is such a privilege to experience it.

To our son Kiaen Aaryan, thank you for coming into our lives and choosing us as your parents.

Even though Papa and I are both zombies trying to settle into a night time feeding routine with you, I look forward to spending not only all future Mother's Days, but every day, with you and your Akka...

And last but not least, to my husband Kishore...without whom none of this would be possible - we did it sayang, I love you ❤️

Photo credit: Stayhome session with Samantha Yong Photography (http://samanthayong.com/)

【玳瑚師父茶會課室】 《以茶會友 – 第九場 ：圓智溫宵聚慶佳節》
9th Recap : 2016 CNY Lantern Festival Tea Session With Master Dai Hu (English version below)

2016年二月二十三日，元宵圓夜，玳瑚師父在新加坡文华东方酒店的MELT ~ The World 咖啡廳，舉辦了《圓智溫宵聚慶佳節茶會》。有位七十五嵗高齡的老婦人，前來賀年學習，玳瑚師父體恤老婦人，把原先的茶會地點換到更明亮的咖啡廳。

茶會前，師父問了一些出席者，爲何會前來學習。二度出席的林先生，侃侃而談地說出，從上次的茶會學到，到一個餐廳，就應該消費。當初本來爲了省錢，只叫白水。從師父的教導，才明白這是一種佔便宜，既然使用別人的地方，理應就該消費，是一種尊敬經營者的禮貌行爲。

茶會精彩回顧：

一、出席者給師父過年紅包意義何在？

二、人要運動，才會有很清晰的思維，才能做很大的事情。

三、十二生肖和木星的關聯

四、犯太嵗的種種狀況

五、玳瑚師父如何決定佈多少福份給一個客人？

六、不讓自己心封閉的方法。

七、新加坡很需要的五行是什麽，及對我們的影響何在？

八、好風水屋子的特徵

九、人要經過春夏秋冬，才會好命。

十、年輕可以苦，但老來，一定要有福，才會老來有錢。

玳瑚師父現場看相示範：

十一、 從出席者臉上的痣，如何知道會有婦女健康和腳的問題？

十二、 要知道妳的男伴有沒有偷吃，有沒有性病，從這裡看！

十三、老公會不會給妳錢，從這裡看。

十四、她到底有沒有大學生的樣子？

十五、如何能看對方的父母尚好否？

十六、女人的臉，最忌有什麽？

十七、怎麽知道一個人的晚年會好不好？

丙申年的展望（二）：

十八、　　丙申年沖太歲的四生肖，需特別注意的事項

十九、　　千萬別往這方向旅行！

二十、　　如果居住在這凶方，可以以這簡易的方法化解！

二十一、如果臥室在這凶方，一定要照這化解方法！

二十二、助運方法： 得偏財的口訣

二十三、助運方法： 增旺讀書運的風水佈局

二十四、哪六畜不宜多吃？

玳瑚師父談孝親的真實義：

二十五、孝順，不是每個月給父母錢而已，也應該認知父母八字的所需，爲她他的未來做更好的策劃。

二十六、八十嵗的老太婆，無法用風水幫助她太多，祗能用佛法幫她去更好的境界。

二十七、父母在彌留狀況時，妳你應該做什麽？

現場答客問：

二十八、玳瑚師父說中某出席者所攻讀的課程，對事業無益，出席者詢問自己該讀什麽。

二十九、顯教的早晚課，是誦何經咒？

三十、同事妻子數度流產，應該怎麽辦？

等等。

玳瑚師父感嘆太多人學佛學不好，因爲起跑點錯了。他解釋認真要學佛的人爲何應該皈依，並提醒大家，學佛是爲了要成佛，不是爲了要自己和家人好。

有些人會入魔，因爲不能夠制止自己的貪，一直要，要不到，就發狂成魔。她他們卻不懂得抱握時間和機會做功德， 沒有發菩提心，做幫助人的事，如何會得到大福呢？

很多人在2016年裡都希望過得比去年好，想擁有更多的錢，得財神的眷顧。 天下沒有白吃的午餐。 不是妳你的，不要貪，不要拿，不要偷。別以爲沒人知，天知地知，妳你身上的鬼神都知。 玳瑚師父贈給大家一句話： 君子求財，取之有道，不義之財雖到手，無限後患跟著來。

玳瑚師父期待大家丙申年裡，好好地運用在茶會所學的知識，下次再見時，願大家身上善光湧現。

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On 23 February 2016, the night of the Lantern Festival, Master Dai Hu held the 9th Tea Session at Melt – The World Cafe. A 75-year-old lady was one participant who came to learn new knowledge and wish Master Dai Hu a happy new year. Master Dai Hu took into consideration of her needs and changed the venue to the cafe, a place of brighter lighting.

Tea Session highlights:

1. What is the significance of gifting CNY red packet to Master Dai Hu?

2. A person must exercise regularly, in order to have clarity and focus to achieve monumental goals.

3. The connection between Jupiter and the 12 Chinese Zodiac signs.

4. The various situations, that signify a clash with the Grand Duke of Jupiter.

5. How does Master Dai Hu decide how much merits to bestow upon each client?

6. How not to succumb to a closed mind.

7. What is the most needed element of Singapore and what is its significance to us?

8. The signs of good Feng Shui in a residence.

9. A person must experience the four seasons of Spring, Summer, Autumn and Winter, in order to have a good life.

10. It is alright to suffer in your younger days. However, in your old age, you must possess enough merits to be financially comfortable.

Master Dai Hu's Live Demo of Face-Reading:

11. From the facial moles, how can you detect health issues in the female reproductive system and the limbs?

12. Observe this spot on the face, to find out if your male spouse has any extra-marital affairs, or sexual disease.

13. How to tell if your husband will support you financially

14. Does this lady have the destiny of being a university graduate?

15. How can you tell from a person's face if his/her parents are in good health?

16. What is considered the biggest taboo for a woman's facial features?

17. How can you determine if a person will enjoy a blissful old age from his/her face?

Outlook for the Year of the Fire Monkey:

18. If you are of any of the four Chinese zodiac signs that clash with the Grand Duke of Jupiter, what are the things to look out for?

19. If you are travelling, never take a tour in this direction!

20. If your residence is sitting in this inauspicious direction, implement these simple remedies.

21. Please take these actions if your bedroom is sitting in this inauspicious position!

22. The secret to a financial windfall

23. A Feng Shui formation to increase academic luck.

24. Which 6 types of meat should we refrain from over-consumption?

Master Dai Hu's explanation of true filial piety:

25. Being filial is not just about giving monthly allowances to your parents. You should also know their elemental needs from their birth charts and plan well for their future.

26. An eighty-year-old lady will not be able to benefit much from the application of Feng Shui. We can only use the Dharma to help her to achieve a higher realm of existence.

27. What should you do if your parents fall into a state of comatose?

Live Q & A:

28. Master Dai Hu pointed out that one participant had chosen the wrong academic course to pursue. It would bring no benefit to her career. The participant inquired what courses best suit her.

29. In Mahayana Buddhism, which scriptures and mantras are being recited in the morning prayers?

30. A colleague's wife had repeated miscarriages. What should be done?

And more.

Master Dai Hu sighed that many people are learning the Dharma improperly, due to starting on the wrong foot. He explained why a person serious about learning the Dharma should take refuge in the Triple Jewels, and reminded everyone that the sole purpose of learning the Dharma is to become a Buddha, and never for self interest or for one's family.

Some people will go onto the path of the devil because they are unable to curb their rising greed. Alas, they failed to grasp the opportunity in every moment to perform meritorious deeds. They fail to allow their bodhicitta to flourish and do things to benefit others. How can these people ever get the good fortune they so crave for?

Many people wish for a better year in 2016. They hoped for more wealth and blessing from the God of Fortune. However, there is no free lunch in this world. Do not harbor greed or desire, take or steal the thing which does not belong to you. Do not think that no one will know of your unwholesome act. The Heavens and the Earth shall know. The gods and spirits in your body shall know. A word of advice from Master Dai Hu: A gentleman of noble character seeks his wealth in a righteous way. Disasters will always follow unrighteous wealth.

www.masterdaihu.com/9th-recap-2016-cny-lantern-festival-tea-session-with-master-dai-hu/