【學會說不,人生光明路】
到底為什麼要當爛好人每件事情都唯唯諾諾的答應,把自己搞得疲累不堪,卻又沒有得到好處,時常還公親變事主,工作越做越多,討厭鬼越來越多,簡直就是厭世到不行。
你有沒有遇過這樣的狀態,每次人家拜託就拒絕不了,被邀約怕不去就變邊緣化了,又煩又焦慮又不敢拒絕,如果自己有這種症頭,那很正常,大部分的人都這種討好性人格,我們如果發現別人有這種奴性狀態,千萬不要放過指使他的機會(鬧~
大家都說要面對不合理的狀態要堅決說不,但很多人那個「不要」可能卡在喉嚨三十年,每次快講出來的時候,趕快喝杯珍珠奶吞下去,看似一切都很美好,不會有不愉快衝突,只是心裡不舒服。
有這樣症狀的其實我們講過很多次,大部分的人都是抱著息事寧人或者是太過在意別人的感受,沒有膽量跟自信做自己,但我必須說這樣的人生既辛苦又乏味,種種的妥協及被逼迫累積到最後不是崩潰就是太累。
過年期間看了樂金文化出版的一本相當易讀的書,『愈說不愈自由還能當好人:堅守底線,贏回尊重與時間的十大拒絕策略』,我當天就看完了,裡面很清楚的教導大家如何說不,如果你是個「整天say YES」小姐或先生,可以買回家按照步驟好好練習。
我小時候也很愛當YES小姐,總覺得沒關係幫點忙這樣,後來因為年紀大腦力體力衰退,實在無法繼續熱情,而且答應幫忙後的事情只會越來越多沒完沒了,我覺得最扯的就是去東京旅遊的時候,朋友叫我幫他去買一台親子腳踏車,我立刻生氣,那麼大台怎麼寄,而且只為了便宜幾千塊,實在是干我屁事。另一個是叫我去美妝店幫他買了大概五十樣的小商品,但那數量太多又雜,光把圖傳過來我就嚇歪,收到這兩個任務後我也是無言,他們沒什麼惡意,但卻無法理解這樣就是麻煩人了,畢竟他們覺得的順便,我可不順便。
我當然拒絕他們,不過自從這次之後我對人性覺悟,他們不會想到麻煩別人,他們只會想省下那微薄的金額,卻要動人脈,這也是很多人需要考慮的,人脈是要互相的,我不是會要別人帶貨的人,所以他們找我做這些繁瑣的事就是耗盡我的耐心。
當然還有些時候我們害怕拒絕是因為我們不想錯過機會,這對創業人更是心有戚戚焉,但我後來看開了,不是你的,硬要請來的機會也是握不緊,不停得多去開發業務或是能辨識這個機會是真是假,比胡亂抓機會好多了,不會浪費時間也不會提心吊膽,步步踏實走得穩健。
好啦,反正這本書很適合拒絕不了別人的人去看,像是天秤座那種猶豫不決的或是自以為圓融但累得要死的好好先生,書裡一步一步教你,就像國小學注音基礎但實用,記得去買喔!
樂金文化.富者樂金
博客來介紹如下:
同時也有10000部Youtube影片,追蹤數超過2,910的網紅コバにゃんチャンネル,也在其Youtube影片中提到,...
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taken for granted中文 在 Brett 林熙老師 Facebook 的最佳解答
(打英文還是輕鬆+快多了😉 中文版下面有連結)
Why taking the SAT or ACT when you’re not ready is a terrible mistake.
For several years now, I’ve noticed that many of my students who study at international schools tend to take an SAT test just to “test the waters.”
This is such a bad move it’s not funny!
What’s so bad about it?
American admissions officers dislike students who only focus on tests. So, even if you manage to get a high score after you’ve taken the SAT too many times, you might be rejected anyway.
Your SAT score is so important! Please do not waste any opportunity to get a high score!
I read the following quote on Dartmouth’s website:
“We don't recommend excessive testing. Making the most out of your high school opportunities is more important than repeatedly taking standardized tests."
Is it only Dartmouth?
Actually, this kind of statement isn’t unique to Dartmouth - it’s pretty standard. Most of the top universities say exactly the same thing. This causes many people to believe that colleges don’t really care much about your SAT score.
Nothing could be further from the truth!
All you have to do is to look at the average SAT/ACT scores that enrolling students receive. As an example, successful applicants to Dartmouth average around 1500 (out of 1600). That’s pretty high! What do they mean then?
They mean that students need to focus on non-academic pursuits AS WELL AS getting a very high score on their SATs.
So, you definitely need a high SAT score, but you can’t look like you care that much. If you take a test before you’re ready, there will be a record of your lower-than-ideal score. You’ll naturally need to retake the exam a second, third, and, possibly, fourth, time.
Let’s say that you do achieve your ideal score on the fourth or fifth attempt. How will the admissions officer view you when you have exactly the same score as another applicant who only took the test twice or three times? Who will they select?
Naturally, they will not choose you because you look like a testing machine.
In the US, everybody knows that it’s foolish to take the SAT or ACT more than three times. That means that you should NEVER waste an attempt. You should be ready before you ever take the test.
So, what should you do?
First, “test the waters” in a safe environment: your home.
You can do some practice questions on Khan Academy to get a feel for the test. Then, when you feel ready to tackle the whole test, do one of the Official Tests found on Khan or CollegeBoard:
https://www.khanacademy.org/mission/sat/exams
https://collegereadiness.collegeboard.org/sat/practice/full-length-practice-tests
Make sure you download the test, print it out and do it on paper. If you do it on the computer, you will NOT be simulating the real test.
Presently, there are a total of 9 released tests. CollegeBoard and Khan have released 8, and there is one more floating about on the internet. (As an aside, I actually use this test in my classes. I purposely avoid the other released tests because most schools use them and so do many students. I hate it when students say, “I’ve done that test before!”)
Simply using these tests will give you a good idea of what score you would get if you took the real test. And you can do this without risking being labelled a testing machine.
Also, as there are only 9 official tests out there, don’t waste them. Granted, there are other “official” tests online or in some schools, but these are usually riddled with errors or are incomplete. (I personally hate doing a test and not knowing which questions are faulty before doing it. Most of the time, students spend a lot of time trying to figure out the answers to questions that do not even have answers. It can be very frustrating.)
Another thing: of the nine, only 5 of them are previously administered tests. The first four “official tests” were designed before CollegeBoard switched from the old SAT to the new one in 2016. These four tests are quite easy compared to what is being tested now, so are not a great indicator of your future score. They are great for practicing question types - just understand that if you get a really high score on them it doesn’t mean that you will do just as well on test day.
Only tests 5-9 (also easier than the current tests) are the closest thing we have to the current SAT tests. Still, these are easier than the current test, especially in the reading section, so be aware that the reading will most probably be even tougher than what is in all of the officially released tests.
If you have any other questions related to how to prep for your SATs, feel free to leave a message below or PM me.
Enjoy your SAT studies!
本文的中文版:
https://brettlindsay.blogspot.tw/2018/01/satact.html
#SAT寒密班 (適合11年級 & 3月和5月的考生) https://goo.gl/17Uz1e
#SAT週六衝刺班 (針對3月和5月的考生)
https://goo.gl/3ZEEWj
#SAT暑密班 (適合10年級 & 10月和12月的考生) https://goo.gl/6Ypwsi
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