『作家H:慎記!離婚的原因比分手的理由,更要特別注意!!』
網友問
H,我需要你解惑⋯⋯
我們兩個正在交往中,我們都有前一段婚姻,他離婚的原因是,因為婆媳問題和妻子外遇。而我的是因為前夫外遇。感覺上我們兩個彼此都愛著對方,但是因為都有原生家庭,所以讓我覺得走得很辛苦!對方的父母覺得我離過婚又帶著三個孩子,又怕我對他們原本的孫子不好,所以很反對!我的男友很孝順,也不敢違逆父母,但是讓我很受傷,他的孩子一個已經高中二年級,一個還是小學四年級,我們大家相處過,應該是沒問題的!
我不知道該不該繼續經營這段感情,還是趁早離開再尋找下一段感情甚至婚姻!我覺得自己應該算是個不錯的女生,但被對方的父母瞧不起,男友似乎也無力排除,讓我一直覺得很委屈處於不平等的地位⋯⋯
希望有那個緣分看到您的回覆!給我這個迷失的人一個人生方向,一個建議!
作家H x 山水SANSUI 空氣循環電暖器
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同時也有3部Youtube影片,追蹤數超過1萬的網紅MingSir English,也在其Youtube影片中提到,As far back in time as we can imagine, people throughout the world have sought help from fortune-tellers. Crystal ball reading, fortune sticks predict...
divorce reason 在 鴨頭 嘉人 Facebook 的最讚貼文
【違う意見を聞けない人】
僕は数年前にテレビの「ひな壇」に出るのを辞めたんですね。
理由は二つです。
一つ目の理由は、「得意ではないから」
「スポーツが苦手だから、その分、勉強を頑張ります」みたいな感じです。
二つ目の理由は、「これから鍛えるべき筋肉はそこじゃないと判断したから」
これは、その当時もお話ししたのですが、「そもそも『ひな壇』という文化は何故、生まれたのか?」というところから掘り下げて考えてみると、僕が知るかぎりでは1980年代には、その原型はあったんですね。
たけしサンがやられていた「元気が出るテレビ」なんかは、出演者が二段に分かれて並んでいました。
しかし、ひな段形式の番組はそこまで多くはなかった。ところが、2000年代に入ると「ひな壇」が急増します。
理由はいくつかあると思いますが、一番大きな理由として、薄型テレビの普及が考えられます。
テレビが薄型になり、テレビ画面が大きくなり、画面が大きくなったもんだから、登場人物が多くないと、画面のバランスが悪い。
もしくは、登場人物が多くても、一人一人の表情が確認できるようになった。
その時、「ひな壇」という形が重宝されたわけですね。
ところが、ある時、スマホというものが現れた。人は、スマホでテレビ番組を見るようになり、YouTubeを見るようになった。
スマホ画面は「横5センチ」とかいうレベルですから、「ひな壇」が面白い面白くないという議論ではなくて、単純に、「登場人物が多いエンタメは見にくいです。
表情が確認できない。
こうなってくると、求められるスキルは、「大勢の中で前に出て行く力(瞬発力)」ではなくて、「一人で画面を持たせることができる力(持久力)」である、と。
というわけで、「一人で画面を持たせることができる力(持久力)」を身につけようと思ったわけです。
……今聞くと、「そりゃそうだよね」という話かもしれませんが、当時は日本中からフルバッシングです。
同業者からも「ひな壇、出ろや!」と散々言われて、結果、好感度低い芸人1位になっちゃったのですが……これ、変な話だと思いませんか?
ただただ「なるほど。西野はそういう生き方をするのね。僕は僕で、ひな壇を頑張ります」というだけの話だと思うんです。
ところが、多くの人は、そうはならず、叩いてしまった。
僕は正直に言うと「嫌い!」となっちゃう理由も、よく分からないんです。
ただ、「違う意見」というだけなのに、どういうわけか「人格否定」にまで発展してしまう。
「違う意見=なるほど」ではなくて、「違う意見=嫌い」になってしまう。
ツイッターなんかを見ていても、「意見」と「人格」を切り離して考えることができる人が圧等的に少ない。
「意見」と「人格」を切り離して考えられない人の未来、かなり厳しくないですか?
一度、相手が自分とは違う意見を出しそうものなら、「嫌い」になってしまう。
となると、その相手が、その後、メチャクチャいい意見を言ったとしても、その時には、もう「聞く耳も持たない」という状態になっているわけですから、自分の人生の選択肢、考え方が極端に減ってしまう。
今なんて、ものすごいスピードで時代のルールが変わるから、選択肢が少ない人が生きれる時代じゃないんですね。
分かりやすいのが、「芸人やったら、ひな段に出ろや!」と大声で言っていた芸人は、軒並みYouTubeの進出が出遅れてしまって、現在、苦戦を強いられている。
クラウドファンディングや、オンラインサロンも同様。
「否定してしまった手前、できない」みたいな落とし穴にハマってしまっている。
「なるほど、そういう考え方もあるんだね」「今回は意見が分かれたね」でイイと思うんです。
というか、そういった感じで「意見」と「人格」を切り分けて、「違う意見」を持つ人の声にも耳を傾けられる状態にしておかないと、選択肢が減って、時代に対応できなくなる。
あと、「Aを選んだということは、Bを否定している」と考えてしまう人も、かなり厳しい。
「キンコン西野は、ひな壇に出ないです」というだけの話なのですが、それが「キンコン西野、ひな壇批判!」となっちゃう人。
これも本質は同じだと思っていて、「違う意見」を聞く能力が極端に低下してしまっている。
「Aが好き」ということと、「Bが嫌い」というのは、まったく別問題なので。
「Bもいいと思うけど、僕はAを選びます」というケースがあるわけだから。
既婚者が、未婚者に対して、「なんで結婚しないの!?」と詰問する場面、皆様も何度か見たことあると思うんです。
いや、ええやん。
その人の人生で、その人が、その生き方を選んだだけやん。なんで、自分の意見以外はアウトになっちゃうの?
そして、そんなこという人に限って、離婚します。
既婚者の35%は離婚します。
一言でまとめると、「『なるほどね』という言葉を持て!」という話です。
意見と人格を混同させてしまうと、後々、絶対に自分の首が絞まるので。
僕、苦手な意見はありますが、「嫌いな人」って、ほとんどいないんです。
今、パッと出てこない。「意見」と「人格」を切り分けて考えたら、「嫌いな人」なんて、「執拗に嫌がらせをしてくる人」以外、ほぼ発生しないハズ。
「私、○○のことが嫌いやねん」と軽々しく口にしちゃっている人は一度、振り返って考えてみてください。
▼西野亮廣の最新のエンタメビジネスに関する記事(1記事=2000~3000文字)が毎朝読めるのはオンラインサロン(ほぼメルマガ)はコチラ↓
https://salon.jp/nishino
▼Instagram版はコチラ↓
https://nishino73.thebase.in/items/25497065
[people who can't hear different opinions]
I quit being on the tv ′′ Hinadan ′′ a few years ago.
There are two reasons.
The first reason is," because I'm not good at it ′′
′′ I'm not good at Sports, so I'm going to do my best to study
The second reason is," because I judged that the muscles to train are not there,"
I talked about this at that time, but," in the first place, why is the culture of ′′ Hinadan ′′ born?" I delve into it and think about it, and as long as I know, it's in the 1980 s. There was a prototype, wasn't it?
The performers were divided into two levels and lined up with the ′′ TV that takeshi san was hit.
However, there were not many programs in the hinata format. However, in the 2000 s, the ′′ Hinadan ′′ will suddenly increase.
I think there are a few reasons, but as the biggest reason, the dissemination of flat-screen TV is considered.
The TV has become a thin screen, the tv screen is bigger, and the screen is getting bigger, so if there aren't many characters, the balance of the screen is bad.
Or even if there are many characters, the expression of each person is now able to be confirmed.
At that time, the shape of ′′ Hinadan ′′ was handy.
But sometimes a smartphone appeared. People started watching tv shows on smartphones and started watching Youtube.
The Smartphone screen is a level of ′′ 5 centimeters on the side," so it's not a discussion that ′′ Hinadan ′′ is interesting and not interesting, but it's simply," it's hard to see a lot of characters.
I can't confirm the expression.
This is how the skill that can be sought is not," the power to go out in a lot of people (instantaneous power)," it is the power that can make you have a screen alone (endurance) ′′ , and.
So," I thought I was going to wear the power (endurance) that I can have a screen alone.
...... if you listen to it now, it may be the story of ′′ that's right," but it's full bashing from Japan at the time.
From the competitor, I was told that I was going to go out of the way, and I was in the 1th place of the low-like comedian...... don't you think this is a strange story?
Simply ′′ I see. Nishino is going to live like that. I think I'm just a story that I'm going to do my best in the hinadan
But many of them did not and slapped them.
I honestly don't really understand why I'm going to ′′ hate ′′ to be honest.
It's just a ′′ different opinion," but somehow it's developed to ′′ personality deny,"
It's not ′′ different opinion = I see," it's going to be ′′ different opinion = hate,"
Even if you look at Twitter, there are few people who can separate and think of ′′ opinion ′′ and ′′ personality,"
The future of people who can't separate ′′ opinion ′′ and ′′ personality ′′ isn't it pretty strict?
Once the other person is going to make a different opinion than you, you will be ′′ hate,"
When the other person says a messed up opinion, then it's no longer a state of ′′ I don't even have an ear to listen so the choice of my life, the mindset of my life is extreme. It's going to be reduced.
Now it's not the era where people who have less choices can live because the rules of the era change at a tremendous speed.
It's easy to understand, but the comedian who said out loud, ′′ if you do an comedian, you'll get out of the hinata-Dan!" is now struggling with the struggle.
Crowdfunding and online salon as well.
I'm addicted to pitfalls like ′′ I can't do it before I deny it
′′ I see, there's that kind of mindset "" I think it's good to have a divided opinion this time ""
I mean, if you don't want to carve out ′′ opinion ′′ and ′′ personality ′′ and listen to the voice of people with ′′ different opinions," you won't be able to do it, and you won't be able to respond to the times. I'm sorry.
Later, people who think that ′′ choosing a is denying b," are pretty tough.
It's just a story that ′′ Xin Nishino is not going to be on the hitadan!" but it's the one who's going to be ′′ Xin Nishino, criticism!"
I think this is the same quality, and the ability to listen to ′′ different opinions ′′ has decreased extreme.
′′ I like a ′′ and ′′ I hate b ′′ is a completely different problem.
′′ I think b is good, but I choose a
I think I've seen a few times when married people ask the unmarried," why don't you get married!?"
No, I like it.
In the life of the person, the person just chose the way he lives. Why is it going to be out except your opinion?
And only for those who say that, I will divorce.
35 % of married people get divorced.
In One Word, it's a story that you have the word ′′ I see!"
When you confuse your opinion and personality, you will definitely squeeze your neck later.
I have an opinion that I'm not good at, but there are few people who don't like it.
I don't have a quick time right now." if you carve out the ′′ opinion ′′ and ′′ personality ′′ and think about it, it's almost not going to happen except ′′ people who don't like it," people who are persistent and harassment,"
If you are effortlessly mouth-to-mouth with ′′ I don't like ○○ please look back and think about it once.
▼ an article about the latest entertainment business of ryo nishino (1 articles = 2000 to 3000 characters) can be read every morning online salon (almost mail magazine) is here ↓
https://salon.jp/nishino
▼ Instagram version is here ↓
https://nishino73.thebase.in/items/25497065Translated
divorce reason 在 Pakar diari hati Facebook 的最佳貼文
Bertunang dan berkahwin ni nampak indah tapi realitinya hanya yang melalui je tahu. Siapa yang rancang nak bertunang tu, korang tengok ujian dan cabaran yang selalu orang bertunang hadap. Ikut dan hayati baik baik , yang mana buruk jadikan tauladan dan yang mana baik ambil sebagai pedoman 🌸
Situasi 1: DIUJI DENGAN MASALAH KEWANGAN
godaan: gunalah duit sikit untuk melabur. lepas dua tiga bulan dapat duit lebih, boleh guna tampung majlis. kahwin banyak pakai duit. kurang sike...
Continue ReadingGetting engaged and married looks beautiful but the reality is only those who know. Whoever plans to get engaged, look at the tests and challenges that people always get engaged in. Follow and appreciate good good, which is bad make an example and which is better take as a guideline 🌸
Situation 1: TESTED WITH FINAL PROBLEMS
Temptation: use some money to invest. After two three months of earning extra money, you can use the event. Married a lot with money. Just a little less now. later can replace more
IMPORTANT NOTE: make sure the ready-kept marriage money is not teased by side. If you have extra money, you can use it. But if that money is enough for marriage needs. It's good to prioritize the important thing, discuss with your partner to decide. There's one case, regretting myself because of using dowry money to join the business, at last, I didn't get money Wedding has to be tough
Situation 2. PRESENTATION OF UNLIMITED GUEST (ex)
temptation: i love you again. If I propose to you? I'm waiting for you. I'm willing to wait for you until you divorce and etc
IMPORTANT REMINDER: why did she become an ex? because she is EXperienced! let go and start! Appreciate those who appreciate more. if it wasn't a good love before. it's time to prove we can be the best love! Let go.. start a new story that can be the most beautiful story for children and grandchildren. God willing.
Situation 3: TESTED WITH ATTITUDE
temptation: suddenly engagement becomes too sensitive, angry, less patient
IMPORTANT NOTE, when you want to marry. Definitely putting us in a stressful level. Because there's a lot of things to think about, settled. Added to the feeling of commitment (feeling like a husband, wife), so he becomes more care. Simple things become complicated. The devil has added a dose to cancel the good things. It's getting more exploding! Patience.. this time everyone has to play a role. You won't settle things in anger. Invite to pray, to study. take ablution. When two two are calm. Discuss without emotion. the important thing is. Remember the original intention! Married because of Allah. Look at the problem. Discuss the discharge. Don't focus on the cause. lower your ego and learn to accept and listen. insyaAllah will be better than before fighting.
Situation 4: TESTED WITH HOUBT
temptation: do you want to marry him? but why?. don't you feel young anymore? Many more ambitions to achieve? Are you ready to be a wife? and etc
This one is all natural. Married because I want to accept Allah. If you want to chase the world, until when will we stop chasing? maybe we die running after him. Stop thinking negatively! No one is ready. The most important thing is try to be ready. Seek knowledge (read books, talk and others). Is it a question that I can't be a wife or a daughter that's the experience. Repair from mistakes. example, cooking is not delicious, after this fix the cooking. We won't be perfect. But we can work hard, right? Change the mindset!
Temptation II: is it true that I want to marry him. If you want to say (rich or handsome or good or good or....) that A person looks better than my fiance
* istigfar. back with the original intention. Married because of what? This is a partner even though we clearly see the shortcomings, his weaknesses, we can't hate. even though her face may be full of acne and others. We feel calm looking at it. When you fight, you still feel like being together. Praying to Allah so that the love of him will be stronger, the love of Allah is stronger
Situation 5. PRESSURE OF FAMILY & FAMILY OF FUTURE HUSBAND
Temptation: When you know the family of future couples, setting up dowry, etc, there may be a terrible sense of their decision.
No matter what, we don't judge someone too quickly while we don't know them completely.
Family, feeling hearted in the family, starting to feel right to my mother-in-law will like me, is it true that my brother-in-law will be willing to me, this is all from the devil who always haunts us to cancel our good intentions
Situation 6. STARTING TO BE CAREFUL
After all sorts of tests came over, some of them started to give up and weren't interested in continuing the engagement period.
Survey first the cause of giving heart and try to solve it as long as you can.
Situation 7. EMOTIONS ARE NOT STABILOUS
Some are not happy to sit down when tying the engagement rope. Sometimes sad, angry, too happy, and some keep thinking of his fiance while some have long known his own heart.
When you're friends, you might not feel how serious this relationship is, and how committed you are to a marriage that's about to happen. So, maybe this reason makes you restless and anxious.
Situaso 8. AFRAID OF WRONG DECISION
Temptation: Between phobia and challenges during engagement, some start to show up the real 'attitude'. So, you start to feel doubtful about your choice.
According to Suzana Ghazali, a Syarie Family Psychology Consultant, the Islamic Family Law decides that an individual can obtain a replacement if an engagement is decided by the other side without a strong reason.
Thus, you deserve to receive any form of your gift to her, especially if you spent a lot of money on a wedding to be held.
Situation 9. JEALOUS BLIND
Oh yes, sometimes there are people who suddenly get too jealous and always want to control their fiance's movement. This is a challenge when engagement is common.
While this man is not yet entitled to be obeyed by the woman before pronouncing the marriage ceremony. So is a woman who doesn't have the right to ask for any form of burden from the man.
However, as a Muslim, we must keep our friendship even where we are, whether we are engaged or not
Situation 10. BUSY OF WEDDING MARRIAGE
Busy ahead of wedding ceremony! In the last moment, it's not impossible that it doesn't go as planned. However, this is beyond our control.
Challenges during engagement among them can happen technical mistakes in quotations, change in ceremony, wedding dresses don't fit or wrong sewing, and more
p / s: just share good intentions, want to be halal. It's not easy, there are many challenges that have to be taken before the legal bond.
Want to get married right. whatever it is, every test. Seek Allah! The test is a sign that we need to be stronger with God. May this sharing be blessed. May Allah accept it. Actually, as Muslims, we have to believe that all the challenges during engagement that come are from Allah, as a test to His servants.
Therefore, no matter what the challenges when engaged happen, we should always accept and ask for help from the Almighty. Truly, Allah knows more about something we don't know.
In addition, try to get closer to Allah before we set foot in the household, in preparation of being the leader and mentor of the family institutions that will be established.
As in surah Al-Imran verse 54:
′′ And They Plan, Allah also plans, And ALLAH is the best Planner ′′
📸: Elshaa NatashaaTranslated
divorce reason 在 MingSir English Youtube 的最佳貼文
As far back in time as we can imagine, people throughout the world have sought help from fortune-tellers. Crystal ball reading, fortune sticks predictions, astrology, palm reading, tarot cards, Bazi and many more have had strong appeal. Why do people like going to fortune-tellers? That's the first question we'd like to address. I believe no one would need fortune telling when choosing between meal A and meal B in a restaurant. That'd be really silly, wouldn't it? But when it comes to choosing a husband, finding a job, buying a stock, some people go to fortune-tellers. Because they're afraid of making wrong choices which can cause serious trouble: a failed marriage(a divorce), a fruitless job search, a bad investment. I believe fear and uncertainty about the future is the main reason why people seek supernatural help.
呀Sir對發音好有興趣,如果你想知某個字的準確讀音,又或者想我朗讀一小段paragraph你聽,歡迎WhatsApp我!
我親自錄音答覆?
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全年開放haha!
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divorce reason 在 K.S. Khunkhao Youtube 的最佳解答
"Never love yourself less
just because someone stopped loving you."
-K.S. Khunkhao
------------------------
Connect with me on...
Facebook (my main platform) here:
https://www.facebook.com/KhunkhaoWriter
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divorce reason 在 Kento Bento Youtube 的最佳貼文
Get ‘Asiany’ Merch at our new merch store!: https://standard.tv/kentobento
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★ 10 MOST INFLUENTIAL Asian Superheroes From Marvel & DC: https://youtu.be/sAB8-1Gkn_E
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With National Adoption Month in the US coming up in November, and the recent drama involving the most high profile entry on this list, it seems an appropriate time to make this video.
1. Angelina Jolie
Angelina Jolie is who everyone thinks of when it comes to a Hollywood celebrity with an adopted Asian child. Actually she has two, Maddox from Cambodia and Pax from Vietnam.
In 2001, Jolie applied to adopt 7 month old, Rath Vibol from an orphanage in Battambang, Cambodia. Unfortunately, this didn’t seem to go well. The adoption process was halted soon after when the US government banned adoptions from Cambodia amid allegations of child trafficking.
When it was all said and done, when the investigation was over, fortunately for Jolie, the adoption of Rath Vibol was deemed lawful. Jolie brought him back to the States and renamed him Maddox. 5 years later, Maddox became older brother to Pax, who Jolie adopted from an orphanage in Ho Chi Minh City in Vietnam.
Today, Maddox is a regular 15 year old kid, who can sometimes be seen with a shaggy bleached blonde mohawk, and who has a long distance girlfriend who lives in England.
Unfortunately, 2016 marked the end of Brangelina, as Angelina Jolie & husband Brad Pitt are now going through a Hollywood divorce involving 6 kids.
2. Katherine Heigl
Heigl actually grew up with an older sister, Meg, who was adopted from South Korea.
Heigl says: “I wanted my own family to resemble the one I came from, so I always knew I wanted to adopt from Korea.”
Her husband singer/songwriter, Josh Kelley initially questioned whether Heigl’s vision for their family was indeed right for him.
In 2009, she got the call from the Korean adoption agency that there was a baby girl for her to adopt named Mi-Eun. There was one issue though, she had a congenital heart defect and had recently undergone open heart surgery.
Despite the uncertainty surrounding her well-being, her future health, Heigl opted to adopt Mi-Eun, naming her Naleigh.
3. Ewan McGregor
McGregor has been in many documentaries including one called Long Way Round where he goes on a 19000 mile journey from London To New York City on a motorcycle, traveling through Europe and Asia, visiting several UNICEF programs along the way.
It was on this trip in 2004, passing through Mongolia, where he met 2 year old Jamyan, an abandoned orphan. Soon afterwards, he adopted her.
4. Meg Ryan
The star of When Harry Met Sally, Sleepless In Seattle & You’ve Got Mail, was elated, when, in 2006, she was notified by the Chinese adoption agency that they had assigned her a 14 month old baby girl. I say assigned because the adoption process in China is like a lottery system, and Ryan had no say in the selection process of her child, who she later named Daisy True
Despite Daisy being randomly assigned to her, Ryan has stated “I am convinced, completely that there was nothing random about it. She is the daughter I should have.”
5. John McCain
Right now the world is watching Hillary & Trump tear each other to bits. 8 years ago it was Obama & McCain going at it for the presidency.
While McCain, was able to become the republican presidential nominee in 2008, his previous attempt in 2000 failed. He had lost to George W. Bush in large part due to an underground smear campaign that falsely claimed McCain had fathered a black child.
In actuality, that ‘black child’ was Bridget, his daughter that he adopted from Bangladesh. Bridget was Bengali, and Bengali people are darker skinned.
Many people said the McCains should be ashamed of her color. The vile campaign had voters being called up by the thousands, being informed that McCain had a black baby and that was reason enough to not vote for him.
Funnily enough, John McCain did not know of his wife’s decision before hand and when he arrived at the Arizona airport to pick her up from her trip from Bangladesh, he was confused as to why his wife was holding a dark Asian baby.
He asked ‘who is she?’ and ‘where is she going?’
Cindy replied ‘To our house’
Despite the initial shock, he has said that Bridget has since enriched their lives.
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Tags: AMWF / Asian Stereotypes / Asian adoptee stories / Asian adoptee story / Asian adoptees
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