《習慣這兩個字》(English writing below)
今天您向自己的命運說了什麼話？
一位師姐買了師父數十本新書，想在自己的臉書送出一部份。她興致勃勃地說要分享師父的直播。
師父斥責她，學佛這麼久，為何不自己寫一篇貼文去介紹書籍，而要用分享功能？
她吞吞吐吐地說：「我不知道要怎麼寫⋯⋯」
師父說，學佛就是教我們如何用腦去思考，懶得用腦而祇會東分享西分享，貪方便貪快走捷徑，根本就沒用心學佛。
後來，我跟這位師姐說，天底下還是有許多男人看不起女人，因為覺得我們女人不怎麼聰明。她先生遲遲不與她在生意合作，也正是因為覺得她沒有這能力。（其實她有許多方面的能力是強過先生的）
想想看，一個女子習慣在自己的臉書上，寫些今天到哪裡玩，明天在哪間咖啡座吃蛋糕，讓他人覺得自己多享受生活。這些都祇是勾起眾生享樂的欲望，引他們去耗掉自己的福份。這女子已當了差不多一輩子的佛教徒。某天，想突破自己習慣，去勸善，教大家如何補福的時候，卻又說不懂、不會、不知道，我做媽的一定很難過，供妳上學讀書二十年，妳都讀了些什麼啊？一個大學生怎麼講出這麼不爭氣的話？！
我有時想，這應該也是為何我們佛教徒「遜色」於基督教徒的原因。在介紹自己的宗教方面，我們好像就沒有他們的膽量和口才。是我們太習慣含蓄和隨緣，而辜負給予我們心靈力量的佛教嗎？
上個週末，在餐館用餐時，聽到一位婦人和家人聚餐時，不停地說：「這些東西在這裡吃好吃，我買食材回去，都沒有煮。為什麼啊？」
然後又自己接著說：「哎呀，習慣了啦，習慣了咯！」
我聽了，頓時覺得有點悲從中來。
多少客人在我面前，講過類似的話，還講得不亦樂乎。有時，我會反問他們：「那你來找我幹嘛？何必浪費我的時間又浪費你自己的錢？我來不是來聽你講這些掃興的話。你要講這樣的話，回家講。
你想想一下，你今天來難道是要我跟你講，對咯，是這樣的啦？既然不是，那你講話要用腦，想過了才講。你看你幾歲的人了。不會講就不要亂講，亂亂講祇會亂了自己的命運，划得來嗎？」
人祇所以會「賤命」，有時是因為自己嘴巴「賤」。
習慣講
「不知道」
「不會」
「不懂」
「沒想過」
「習慣了啦」
「我都那麼老了」
「隨便咯」
「哦，是嗎？」
「沒想那麼遠啦」
「是這樣的嘛」
「認命咯」
「我的命是這樣的」
不知道，要問。
不會，就要學。
不懂，可以多了解。
沒想過，現在去想。
習慣，就要突破盲點。
老了，就不用好命嗎？幹嘛要折磨自己？
隨便？你還嫌你過去一生不夠隨便嗎？
哦，是嗎？是啊，要不然呢？
沒想那麼遠，現在不再想，你就來不及了。
是這樣，也可以是那樣，那樣明明比較好，不要笨得還要這樣。
認命？大哥，你搞錯了，命是拿來「認」識，然後再去改的。
不要死腦筋，以為命運是這樣就沒別的路可以走。
今早，我向一位舊客人說：「你有沒有想過你的婚姻這樣這樣，也會影響到你的孩子將來會以為婚姻就是這樣？」
他答：「我沒有想過。」
我們的命運，會牽連身邊很多的人，包括自己的最愛。
習慣說某種話，也是從一個念頭開始的。
而念頭是可以改變的。
走出去，就有路。念頭轉一下，就有生機。
還有七天便進入2019年了，我祝願大家，不要怕吃苦，不要抗拒改變習慣，不要敗給自己的命運。
無論前面的山有多高，無論前面的路有多崎嶇，有我的幫忙，你一定能夠平安喜樂的度過。這是我給妳你的保證。
⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯⋯
What have you told your Destiny today?
A Dharma Sister bought tens of Shifu's new book. She wanted to give out some of them through her Facebook platform and was telling Shifu how she would do it by sharing his FB Live.
Unexpectedly, Shifu reprimanded her. Since she had been learning the Dharma for a period of time, why didn't she try writing a post to introduce the book, but instead take to using the share function?
Most of us would know that sharing on FB doesn't generate much interest as posts we write ourselves.
She hesitantly replied, "I don't know how to write..."
Shifu said, to learn the Dharma is to learn how to use our brains to think. If we are lazy to exercise our brain conigitive ability, and resort to taking the shortcut u sharing here and there, for the sake of convenience and speed, then we have actually never put our heart in learning the Dharma.
Later on, I also told this Dharma Sister that in this world, there were still many men who looked down on women for our perceived lack of intelligence. Her Husband had hesitated to work together with her in his business because he felt she lacked the ability. Fact was, there were many areas she excelled in compared to her Husband.
Think about this, a lady, who is used to writing on her Facebook where she went to play today and which cafe she is going tomorrow to have cake, is just conveying how much she is enjoying her life. All these will only evoke the desire of hedonism in others, luring them to exhaust their good fortune.
Say one day, this lady has a momental thought to do good and preach about it. She haa been a Buddhist almost all her life. She wants to change her habitual FB posts to one that teaches others how to top up their good fortune, but that momental thought is swiftly replaced with a "I don't know how". If I am her mother, I would be so upset. Having funded her through school for 20 years, what had she been studying? How can a university graduate utter such disappointing words?
I sometimes think this is why we Buddhists often "lose" to our Christian counterparts. They seem to be more fearless and eloquent in talking about their religion than us Buddhists. Are we too used to being docile, that we let down the religion that helped us up?
Last weekend, while dining in a restaurant, I overheard the conversation of one elderly who was having dinner with her family.
She was saying this repeatedly, "This food is so nice when I eat here. When I buy the raw ingredients back to cook, I just never get about doing it. Why hah?"
And then she continued her monologue, "Aiyah, it's a habit lah. Habit already lah!"
Upon hearing it, I felt a momentary sense of grief.
So many clients have said something similar in front of me, and some of them seemed to get so much joy in saying it, as if it justifies everything that have happened in their lives.
Sometimes, I would ask them, "Then why do you look for me? Why waste my time and your money? I come all the way here not to hear you speak in this killjoy manner. If you want to talk like this, do it at home.
Think about this for a minute. Did you come here today to hear me say, yeah, it's like this lah? No, right? Then use your brain before you speak. Look at how old you are now. If you don't know how to say, don't talk nonsensically. This will only mess up your Destiny. Will it be worth it?
Sometimes, the reason why a person has a lousy Destiny is because he or she has a lousy way of speaking.
He or she habitually says things like,
"Don't know."
"Don't know how."
"Don't understand."
"Never thought of it before."
"I'm used to it."
"I'm so old already!"
"Whatever"
"Oh, is it?"
"Got to succumb to life."
"My Destiny is like this."
If you don't know, you must ask.
If you don't know how, then you should learn.
If you don't understand, you can go figure it out.
If you never think about it before, think about it now.
If you are used to something, it's time to breakthrough from your blind points.
So what if you are old? Does that mean there's no need to have a better life? Why choose to torture yourself when you can have better fortune?
Whatever? You think you have not been "whatever-ing" enough? Look where you end up now.
Oh is it? Yes it is. Abo then?
If you have planned ahead, it's time to do so now before it's too late
It's like this? It can also be like that. When "that" is better, don't be foolish to continue like "this".
Succumb to your Destiny? Our destiny is for us to recognise ourselves, and then turn things around.
Don't be blockheaded and think that there is no other way out of your Destiny.
For this who think it's troublesome to change, let me tell you this, your mindset is going to haunt you in your many subsequent rebirths. If you don't get rid of your limiting beliefs, it will be more painful to live the same Destiny, again and again and again.
This morning, I was asking an old client, "Have you ever thought that your marriage like this will influence your child, into thinking that marriages are supposed to be like this?"
His reply, "I never thought of it."
Our destiny has huge repercussions on the many people around us, including our loved ones.
Our habit of saying something begins from a thought.
And a thought can always be changed .
You will find a road ahead when you decide to take the first step and walk out.
You will find Spring again when you can turn your thoughts around.
7 more days before 2019 rolls in. I wish that you will not be afraid of hardship, not be resistant to changing your habits, and most importantly, not to be defeated by your own Destiny.
No matter how high the mountain is, no matter how windy the road ahead may be, with my help, you can always cross your hurdles with ease and joy. That is my assurance to you.
