《那阿公的心事》The Worries of Grandpa
(English version below)
某天，弟子帶年邁體弱的外公出外吃點心後，與吾分享他們當天的合照。弟子說，外公行動不便，但也樂意和他外出，祇是常常沈默寡言，不知他老人家在想什麼。
吾看了看照片後，向弟子說：
外公的眼神是直直看去的。他目前的心，祇是在等時間到罷了，對於人生已沒有期待。他老人家卻也有一點點放不下孩子和孫子。
外公的相絕，絕對是長壽的。他的地格，代表他一生到老都有得吃，也代表他有很多孫輩。但是，他卻不快樂。
吾後來也訓了弟子。妳你們帶公公去吃，有沒有跟他講佛法？有沒有勸他唸一句佛號？如果沒有，去也是白去的。妳你只是去看他一幕一幕的老去，像我們去看電影一樣，到了The End，這人的人生就落幕了。
真的善，不是祇是拿米給人家吃，而是跟她他說一點佛法，教她他如何斷惡修善。因為妳你給她他充飢，只是解她他一時的苦，對不對？
她他沒有錢，你借她他錢，也一樣，只是解她他一時的苦。真正來講，就算你不懂佛法，也要找一份差事給她他做，用她他的體力去賺錢，維持生計，好過妳你每天給她他一口飯吃。
所以，我們做善事也要用智慧的，不是每天放工後，很勤勞的去買飯給那阿嬸、阿嬤或阿叔等。你要教她他，如何以後不需要別人的救濟。她他自己才會有自力更生的能力和福份，人也會更開心。
這才是「善」更高一層的境界。
那再更高一點的境界，就是讓他明白「生」就是「苦」。每個人與生俱來，就一定會要遭受「病」、「老」、「死」，最起碼就要這四種「苦」，但其實一共是八苦。
我們愛他，關心他，就必須跟他講佛法，因為我們不懂下一次還會不會見面。但根據佛的教導，有因就有緣，有一個想念，就會跟這個人再見面，有一種冤親的糾結，就會再跟這個人見面。
我們要為外公的未來著想，甚至希望他將來能夠真的好走。
和出外的吃喝玩樂相比，這般爲外公（和自己的父母）的用心，才是具有真價值的孝。
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One day, my disciple brought his grandfather out for a dim sum lunch. He shared with me their group photos that night. He mused that while his Grandpa may faced much inconvenience in his movement, he would often agree to their outings readily. Only thing is, Grandpa is a man of few words. No one really knows what Grandpa is thinking.
I took a quick look at their photos and told my disciple.
Grandpa's gaze was pointed straight ahead. There was no life in his eyes. This was an elderly man who was just waiting for his time to be up. He carried, in him, no aspiration for life.
But he was to live a long life. Looking at the lower half of his face told me that Grandpa had no lack of food his entire life. It also signified that he had many descendants and grandchildren. However, he's not a happy man.
I asked, did you speak the Dharma to him when you brought him out for a meal? Did you ask him to recite the Buddha's name? If not, you would have wasted the trip, and only act as a spectator to the aging and fading of Grandpa's life, scene after scene, like how we watch a movie from the start till the end, until the curtains draw, and his life reaches the full stop.
True kindness is not merely giving food to another person, but to share a little Dharma with him and letting him know how to halt his non-virtuous ways and cultivate merits.
If you feed the hungry, you are only giving the person a temporary relief from his suffering, is it not?
Similarly, if one has no money, and you lend him some, it is only a temporary relief for him. The correct method, even if you know nothing about the Dharma, is to find ways to make that person self-sufficient. For example, help him find a job where he can use his own physical effort to earn enough and feed himself on a regular basis. This is more sensible than you feeding him a mouthful of rice every day.
Therefore, we must use our wisdom when it comes to doing good for others. It is not just diligently buying food for that old auntie or uncle, after you get off work everyday. You must teach him how to lessen or even remove the reliance on others, so that he can have his own ability and merits to be self-sufficient, and be a happier person.
This is a higher level of kindness.
An even higher level would be to make him understand that life itself comes with suffering. The moment we are born, we are all getting in line for sickness, old age and eventually, death. These are the four sufferings (birth, sickness, old age, death), but there are a total of 8 sufferings, according to the Dharma.
We love and care for him, and that is why we need to speak the Dharma to him. For we do not know whether we will get to see him again the next time.
According to the Dharma, there will be an effect, as long as there is a cause. A thought or an intention from one person will create the affinity to meet the person he wishes to. On the same note, if there is entanglement of enmity between you and another person, you would meet this person again.
We must think about Grandfather's best interest, and plan in hope that his future departure would be an auspicious and peaceful one.
When you weigh against the usual outings of dining and merry making, putting in thought and effort of such magnitude for Grandfather (and your parents) is a much more valuable form of genuine filial piety.
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